23 ways to ask for help after a cancer diagnosis

If you or someone you care about is faced with a cancer diagnosis, acknowledging and asking for help may not be easy.  But reaching out for help from your loved ones can create deeper connections throughout your cancer experience and strengthen relationships during the most challenging moments. 

You shouldn’t take on the challenges that a cancer diagnosis can bring by yourself. Whether you are dealing with difficult emotions, completing new tasks or struggling with lower energy, the moderators from CancerConnection.ca share ways to ask for help when you don’t know how.

The emotions that many people experience throughout a cancer diagnosis can be hard to cope with alone. These feelings can include uncertainty and fear of the changes to their lives. And asking for help dealing with our emotions can make us nervous if we’re worried it may put added stressed on our loved ones.  

As one member of our community shared, “I feel that people are aware of the situation but often are scared to get involved because they feel your needs could escalate or it’s more than they bargained for.”

Here are some ways to ask for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.  

1. "I’m struggling right now and could really use some help.

2. "I’m feeling really overwhelmed and could use some support." 

3. "Would you be able to assist me with something? I’m having a tough time."

4. "This is harder than I anticipated. Can you spend some extra time with me today?"

Friends and family are often willing to give support, whether it’s picking up medication, watching pets or doing housework.                                                          

By asking for help, you may be able to accomplish everything you want in a shorter amount of time – reducing the stress around your new routine.

Try using these words when you find your regular tasks too overwhelming.

5. "Can you help me with a few things? I’m not able to manage everything right now."

6. "I need help with day-to-day tasks. I’m finding this harder than I expected, and it’s been tough to keep up."

7.  "Is there anyone who can help me get to appointments? I’m feeling exhausted."

8. "I’m feeling really drained. Can you help with anything around the house?"

9.  "It’s hard to ask, but I could really use a little help right now."

10. "Could you help me organize things? I’m having trouble keeping track of everything."

11. "I need help finding some resources or information. Do you know where I can start?"

12. "I’m struggling to get through the day. Can someone help me with just a few things?"

After being diagnosed with cancer, you may begin to lose energy throughout the day more quickly.

Feeling tired more often throughout your cancer treatment may be a feeling that you’re not used to. And lower energy can make it harder to do things and complete everyday tasks.

These conversation starters can be used to ask for extra support when you’re feeling tired. 

13. "I’m feeling pretty weak lately. Would you mind helping me with some errands?"

14. "I don’t have the energy for this right now. Can you help me get through it?"

15. "I could really use a meal or someone to help with grocery shopping."

16. "I need someone to take over some responsibilities for a while – can you help?"

17. "My body feels so tired. Can someone help me with the basics today?"

18. "I’m having trouble keeping up with everything. Can I lean on you for a bit?"

19. "I feel like I need a break from everything. Would you mind stepping in to help?"

Making time with loved ones can be more than a way to find extra support. It can also help you feel less isolated throughout your cancer experience and stay connected with other areas of your life. This can include hobbies and other favourite activities with friends.

Asking someone to spend time with you can begin to feel more comfortable over time and improve your quality of life.

Here are some words you can try using to feel not so alone during your cancer experience.

20. “I would really appreciate someone to listen to me right now to help me with the emotional load I’m carrying.”

21. "I need someone to talk to, if you’re available."

22. "I’m feeling a bit isolated. Would you be able to check in on me from time to time?"

23. "I could use some company today if you’re free." 

Letting other people support you throughout your cancer experience can help you through the most difficult times. And the more we are open to help – the easier it will be to ask for it.